Porn for geeks

My son, my firstborn, wondrous, future wunderkind came wailing into the world just over three weeks ago. It was, as all human births, a miracle. Never have I laughed and cried so hysterically, simultaneously. (There WERE complications. I never realized until the birth of my own child what a risky business being born is!) So let’s get the well worn cliches about new parenthood out of the way:
It’s a life-changing experience.
You get a new perspective.
Everything changes.
Like what, exactly you might ask? You learn to poop quicker and pee one-handed. You learn to eat meals in small, intermittent portions. You suddenly become ambidextrous. You appreciate a 4 hour stretch as a good night’s sleep. You suddenly find long lost optimism, no longer believing the human race is doomed. You skip trips to the cheapie stylist to shave your head, except you can’t find time to do that either.
And what does fatherhood mean to a techno whore/cyber addict/gadget geek (not to forget aspiring rock star/director)? It means using your iPhone’s previously underutilized stop watch to see if your offspring is lasting any longer in the swing or the bouncer. (He’s never gone beyond 30 minutes without human contact. Still, I hold out for the new world record everyday…) It means bookmarking babycenter.com on all your internet enabled devices for quick answers to all your infant queries. It means buying GTA IV for Xbox the day it’s released and still having no idea what it even looks like. (IGN gave it a 10, A PERFECT TEN, with a designation of “Masterful”. Now I have been a casual gamer to put it mildly for about 6 years now, but has IGN EVER given ANY other game a ten?!) I expect I’ll need to wait at least another 1-2 months. In the blurry-eyed, zombified state of early parenthood, a powerhouse gaming console is relegated to DVD player, spinning Netflix rentals sporadically (with many pauses for feedings, fussings, and diaper changes).
In a nutshell, it means lots of sacrifices. But isn’t it worth it for wondrous, wide-eyed smiles and a REAL sense of purpose? I say yes!